As the mighty saying goes, ‘judge not and ye be not judged’, or something like that – but in this case, we’re very sorry but we’re going to judge, hard.
We’re all for aesthetic opinion and differing ones at that, but, good, kind folk, we need to talk about Kim Kardashian’s bathroom.
Is this what the rich people call a ‘wet room’?
From the stony, granite bathtub with extremely sharp edges that suggest this is not a place North, Saint and Chicago would ever deign to tread (we hope), to the random fixtures on the wall and the *wooden* floors, it’s a lot to digest.
Like, wooden floors? In a bathroom? Ha! Enjoy your warped floorboards, Kimmy – we’re getting outta this soggy deathtrap.
And it’s like Kim doesn’t even realise the kind of soulless pit her bathroom is, as she shared a mirror selfie this week, simply captioning it: ‘Kinda missing blonde hair.’
Um, what about how your bathroom is ‘kinda missing’ emotion and warmth?
Look, we’re no design extraordinaires, or even design amateurs and perhaps it’s compulsory to have a bathroom devoid of any feeling when you reach a certain number on your bank balance, but our views were supported by a whole heap of Kim’s millions of followers.
‘That bathroom is so depressing,’ one commented on the snap, as another, claiming to be a designer, got way too into things: ‘As a designer I have so many questions…don’t you get cold in the shower? Where is your shampoo? Looks like real wood, but has to be tile, Where is the drain? Is it linear? Love the minimalist aesthetic, but trying to figure it out.’
Hear, hear. It’s like, sure, yeah, nice – but it comes across more as a display bathroom, rather than one of any great use.
Unless that tub is closer to the wall than it appears and you, like, stand in it when you’re having a shower, does the water just go all over the floor? That’s a slip-hazard if we ever saw one.
Some of her fans were as warped as the wet floorboards, though, as they wrote: ‘Love the bathroom romantic.’
Another lost it as they wrote: ‘OMG .. All that bath room.’
We’ve seen other areas of Kim’s house before, which, frankly, do elicit comparison to a cold museum.
In fact, when people joked about Kanye West being in ‘the sunken place’, that void area of ‘living’ that was created by Jordan Peele in Get Out, Ye posted a bunch of pics of the empty hallways of his house in LA with Kim.
He wrote: ‘Do this look like the sunken place’, as he Tweeted a photo of a long, concrete hallway with a lone chair at the end.
It might not look like the sunken place, but it sure doesn’t look fun.
Still, should Kim Kardashian want to fling us an invitation to come hang out with her in Calabasas then consider this whole post redundant. We love what you’ve done with the joint, Kimmy…